Mark Twain Quotes, Simple Quotes, Waiting Quotes

Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait and count to forty. To save three quarters, count sixty. To save all, count sixty-five.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Simple Quotes , Waiting Quotes

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Forgiveness Quotes , Death Quotes

Who are the oppressors? The few: the King, the capitalist, and a handful of other overseers and superintendents. Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth; the valuable personages; the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Bread Quotes

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boys Quotes , Men Quotes

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Educated Quotes

The best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Speech Quotes

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes

If one is honest there is no need to remember.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Needs Quotes

Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Data Quotes

Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Risk Quotes , Age Quotes

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frozen Quotes , Cold Quotes

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Anxiety Quotes , Mastery Quotes

'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Heart Quotes

No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ink And Paper Quotes , People Quotes

To stand still is to fall behind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Behinds Quotes

Men think they think upon the great political questions, and they do; but they think with their party, not independently; they read its literature, but not that of the other side

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Men Quotes

Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of "smartness"--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artificial.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Space Quotes

As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy; it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Boys Quotes