George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Half Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

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Lack of money is the root of of all evil.

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The greatest thing in life is to die young - but delay it as long as possible.

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I work as my father drank.

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A revolutionist is one who desires to discard the existing social order and try another.

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Woman reduces us all to the common denominator.

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Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

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He never does a proper thing without giving an improper reason for it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Giving Quotes , Doe Quotes

There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Keeping Secrets Quotes , Best Kept Secrets Quotes

Make it compulsory for a doctor using a brass plate to have inscribed on it, in addition to the letters indicating his qualifications, the words 'Remember that I too am mortal'.

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I do not want to make my stomach a graveyard of dead animals.

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A succession of eye-openers each involving the repudiation of some previously held belief.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Education Quotes , Eye Quotes

I am sorry to have to introduce the subject of Christmas. It is an indecent subject; a cruel, gluttonous subject; a drunken, disorderly subject; a wasteful, disastrous subject; a wicked, cadging, lying, filthy, blasphemous and demoralizing subject. Christmas is forced on a reluctant and disgusted nation by the shopkeepers and the press: on its own merits it would wither and shrivel in the fiery breath of universal hatred; and anyone who looked back to it would be turned into a pillar of greasy sausages.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Lying Quotes

Never believe anything a writer tells you about himself. A man comes to believe in the end the lies he tells himself about himself.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Lying Quotes , Believe Quotes

When the horrors of anarchy force us to set up laws that forbid us to fight and torture one another for sport, we still snatch at every excuse for declaring individuals outside the protection of law and torturing them to our hearts content.

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The conversion of Paul was no conversion at all; it was Paul who converted the religion that has raised one man above sin and death.

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All progress depends on the unreasonable man.

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And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that can understand.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Death Quotes , Peace Quotes

The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.

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Your father is a fool skin deep; but you are a fool to your very marrow.

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