Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Half Quotes

The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Half Quotes

All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Use Quotes

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Country Quotes

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Old Buildings Quotes , Age Quotes

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Waiting Quotes

it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Fire Quotes

The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Want Quotes

None but the dead have free speech.

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Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Men Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Way Quotes

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Healing Quotes

I do not like work even when someone else is doing it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Homely truth is unpalatable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Truth Is Quotes

Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Education Quotes

I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Prayer Quotes

I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result profoundly humiliating to me. For it obliges me to renounce my allegiance to the Darwinian theory of the Ascent of Man from the Lower Animals; since it now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one, this new and truer one to be named the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Animal Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore, in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long, seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Two Quotes