George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Anniversary Quotes

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

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The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women.

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That older and greater church to which I belong: the church where the oftener you laugh the better, because by laughter only can you destroy evil without malice

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Evil Quotes

Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!

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It is not enough to know what is good: you must be able to do it.

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The buried truth germinates and breaks through to the light.

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You can lose a man like that by your own death, but not by his.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Men Quotes , Dying Quotes

Schools and schoolmasters, as we have them today, are not popular as places of education and teachers, but rather prisons and turnkeys in which children are kept to prevent them disturbing and chaperoning their parent.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Teacher Quotes , Children Quotes

Men are always thinking that they are going to do something grandly wicked to their enemies; but when it comes to the point, really bad men are just as rare as really good ones.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Physically there is nothing to distinguish human society from the farm-yard except that children are more troublesome and costly than chickens and calves and that men and women are not so completely enslaved as farm stock.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Children Quotes , Business Quotes

HIGGINS. Have you no morals, man? DOOLITTLE [unabashed] Cant afford them, Governor. Neither could you if you was as poor as me.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Men Quotes , Moral Quotes

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

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You have to choose between trusting to the natural stability of gold and the natural stability of the honesty and intelligence of the members of the government. And, with due respect to these gentlemen, I advise you, as long as the capitalist system lasts, to vote for gold.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Respect Quotes , Money Quotes

Capitalism has destroyed our belief in any effective power but that of self interest backed by force. But even Capitalist cynicism will admit that however unconscionable we may be when our own interests are affected, we can be most indignantly virtuous at the expense of others.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Self Quotes , May Quotes

Make me a beautiful word for doing things tomorrow; for that surely is a great and blessed invention.

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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

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We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.

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Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

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There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle. He fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles; he bullies you on manly principles; he supports his king on loyal principles and cuts off his king's head on republican principles.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Kings Quotes , Patriotic Quotes

Though all society is founded on intolerance, all improvement is founded on tolerance.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Tolerance Quotes , Improvement Quotes