Voltaire Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

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When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

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Know that the secret of the arts is to correct nature.

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Nothing is more annoying than to be obscurely hanged.

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Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.

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Faith consists in believing not what seems true, but what seems false to our understanding.

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"You're a bitter man," said Candide. "That's because I've lived," said Martin.

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To really enjoy pleasures, you must know how to leave them.

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In France every man is either an anvil or a hammer; he is a beater or must be beaten.

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Do you think... that men have always massacred each other, as they do today? Have they always been liars, cheats, traitors, brigands, weak, flighty, cowardly, envious, gluttonous, drunken, grasping, and vicious, bloody, backbiting, debauched, fanatical, hypocritical, and silly?

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If we do not exert the right of eating our neighbor, it is because we have other means of making good cheer

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God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

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I have no morals, yet I am a very moral person

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As you know, the Inquisition is an admirable and wholly Christian invention to make the pope and the monks more powerful and turn a whole kingdom into hypocrites.

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It is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because he is not of the same opinion, is a monster.

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If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.

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In the case of news, we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation.

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I have been a hundred times on the point of killing myself, but still was fond of life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our worst instincts. What can be more absurd than choosing to carry a burden that one really wants to throw to the ground? To detest, and yet to strive to preserve our existence? To caress the serpent that devours us, and hug him close to our bosoms till he has gnawed into our hearts?

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The institution of religion exists only to keep mankind in order, and to make men merit the goodness of God by their virtue. Everything in a religion which does not tend towards this goal must be considered foreign or dangerous.

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A physician is one who pours drugs of which he knows little into a body of which he knows less.

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