Alan Coren Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Humorous Quotes

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I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

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5 years ago

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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.

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The word "souvenir" has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, ninety per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.

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English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit. ... Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds, kumquats ripen, open and plop flatly to the floor-and outside, in a neat, trimly-hoed kitchen-garden, English bohemians sit in cold orderly rows, like carrots.

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Flower Quotes