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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- If books are not good company, where shall I find it?
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- Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.
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- Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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- All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.
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- I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.
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- Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute.
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- A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
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- All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.
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- The silent colossal National Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples — that is the one to throw bricks and sermons at.
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- Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
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- When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.
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- As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.
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- First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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- I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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- ...majority Patriotism is the customary Patriotism.
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- I'm all for prosperity. It's change I object to.
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- The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
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- The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
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- There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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- The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.
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