Mark Twain Quotes, Money Quotes, Bitterness Quotes

Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Bitterness Quotes

I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes

There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Doe Quotes

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friends Quotes , Community Quotes

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frogs Quotes , Dies Quotes

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Water Quotes

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Fragrance Quotes

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Baptists Quotes

There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Assessment Quotes

Do one thing every day you don't want to do.

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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fun Quotes , Heaven Quotes

If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it; and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Ideas Quotes

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Time Quotes

You see, he knew his own laws just as other people so often know the laws: by words, not by effects. They take a meaning, and get to be very vivid, when you come to apply them to yourself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes , Heaven Quotes

That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Government Quotes , Differences Quotes