Mark Twain Quotes, Happiness Quotes, Laughter Quotes

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.

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I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

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Always obey your parents - when they are present.

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It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""

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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes

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What is the real function, the essential function, the supreme function, of language? Isn't it merely to convey ideas and emotions? Certainly. Then if we can do it with words of fonetic brevity and compactness, why keep the present cumbersome forms?

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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

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Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.

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Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

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Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.

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It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.

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We do not get ice-cream every where, and so, when we do, we are apt to dissipate to excess.

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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom; it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.

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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

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Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

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I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wet-nurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

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The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

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My first American ancestor, gentlemen, was an Indian-an early Indian. Your ancestors skinned him alive, and I am an orphan. All those Salem witches were ancestors of mine. Your people made it tropical for them. . . . The first slave brought into New England out of Africa was an ancestor of mine-for I am a mixed breed, an infinitely shaded and exquisite Mongrel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Gentleman Quotes