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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Humor is tragedy plus time.
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- Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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- Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth century.
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- You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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- Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased.
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- I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
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- Out of the public schools comes the greatness of the nation.
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- The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
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- Chastity - you can carry it too far.
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- I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
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- You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends
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- The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous. . . .
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- Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
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- [I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
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- The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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- Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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- I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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- Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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- Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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- Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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