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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Baby Quotes
- You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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- We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.
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- There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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- It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
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- Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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- Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
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- The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
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- Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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- Names are not always what they seem.
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- Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.
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- If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.
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- So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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- Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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- Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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- It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden
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- Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.
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- One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
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- Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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- Don't live in the past, don't ponder about the future, stay at the PRESENT moment NOW...always.
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