Mark Twain Quotes, Two Quotes, Smoking Quotes

I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Few of us stand prosperity; another man's I mean.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Men Quotes

An occasional compliment is necessary to keep up one's self-respect.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Quotes , Self Respect Quotes

I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Thinking Quotes

S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes

Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Humor Quotes

...the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a person that hadn't, and said a person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Cat Quotes

I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I don't want no better book than what your face is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Want Quotes

If I had more time, I would have written less.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , More Time Quotes , Written Quotes

Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Together Quotes

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Writing Quotes

They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humorous Quotes

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes