• Categories
Location |   Home >> Mark Twain Quotes
  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Order Quotes , Plot Quotes
  • He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Cat Quotes
  • In all the ages the Roman Church has owned slaves, bought and sold slaves, authorized and encouraged her children to trade in them. . . . There were the texts; there was no mistaking their meaning; . . . she was doing in all this thing what the Bible had mapped out for her to do. So unassailable was her position that in all the centuries she had no word to say against human slavery.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Religion Quotes
  • When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them. That is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prayer Quotes , Odds Quotes
  • My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Loyalty Quotes , Country Quotes
  • Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dog Quotes
  • After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Coffee Quotes