Albert Einstein Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Men Quotes

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.

4 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: They hope it's my last.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Forman Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Running Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life And Love Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adolphus Busch Quotes , Money Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

4 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in the most humorous sadness.

4 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sadness Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

4 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Lying Quotes , Humorous Quotes