Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Monkeys Quotes

I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Monkeys Quotes

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Miracle Quotes , Saint Quotes

In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sex Quotes , Young Quotes

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Window Quotes , Habit Quotes

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Looks Quotes , Mouths Quotes

If one is honest there is no need to remember.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Needs Quotes

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes

Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Adventure Quotes , Views Quotes

All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Educational Quotes

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sad Quotes , Writing History Quotes

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Animal Quotes

It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Men Quotes

Troubles are only mental; it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mind Quotes , Gorges Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mom Quotes , Baby Quotes

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes