Mark Twain Quotes, Years Quotes, Lazy Quotes

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Lazy Quotes

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Men Quotes

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Achievement Quotes

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Apples Quotes , Want Quotes

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Watches Quotes

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Friendship Quotes , Exercise Quotes

Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Block Quotes , Sleep Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Narrative should flow as flows the brook down through the hills and the leafy woodlands...a brook that never goes straight for a minute, but goes and goes briskly, sometimes ungrammatically, and sometimes fetching a horseshoe of ¾ of a mile around and at the end of the circuit flowing within a yard of the path that it traversed an hour before; but always going and always following at least one law, always loyal to that law, the law of narrative, which has no law. Nothing to do but make the trip; the how of it is not important, so that the trip is made.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Important Quotes

Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , Love You Quotes

The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Lightning Quotes

To stand still is to fall behind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Behinds Quotes

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Literature Quotes

Man proposes, but God blocks the game.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Block Quotes

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Years Quotes

It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Men Quotes

It is a worthy thing to fight for one's freedom; it is another sight finer to fight for another man's.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fighting Quotes , Men Quotes

Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Color Quotes

Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorant Quotes , Roger Quotes

There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Interesting Quotes