Mark Twain Quotes, House Quotes, Taxes Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes

God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Romance Quotes

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Light Quotes

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Body Quotes

Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Religion Quotes

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Effort Quotes

There is only one good sex. The female one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sex Quotes , Good Sex Quotes

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Play Quotes

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorant Quotes , Body Quotes

A German joke is no laughing matter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughing Quotes , Matter Quotes

How lovely is death; and how niggardly it is doled out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes

When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Book Quotes

We get our morals from books. I didn't get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books- theoretically at least.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Moral Quotes

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Deep Thought Quotes

When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Teaching Quotes

Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Barbarians Quotes

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

This morning arrives a letter from my ancient silver-mining comrade, Calvin H. Higbie, a man whom I have not seen nor had communication with for forty-four years. . . . [Footnote: Roughing It is dedicated to Higbie.] . . . I shall allow myself the privilege of copying his punctuation and his spelling, for to me they are a part of the man. He is as honest as the day is long. He is utterly simple-minded and straightforward, and his spelling and his punctuation are as simple and honest as he is himself. He makes no apology for them, and no apology is needed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Morning Quotes , Communication Quotes

We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Paper Quotes