Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Effort Quotes

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Effort Quotes

There are women who have an indefinable charm in their faces which makes them beautiful to their intimates, but a cold stranger who tried to reason the matter out and find this beauty would fail.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Matter Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mom Quotes , Baby Quotes

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Lying Quotes

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atoms Quotes

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Religious Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Homely truth is unpalatable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Truth Is Quotes

Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Government Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a mystery that is hidden from me by reason that the emergency requiring the fathoming of it hath not in my life-days occurred, and so, not having no need to know this thing, I abide barren of the knowledge.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Needs Quotes , Emergencies Quotes

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Achievement Quotes

...one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the chosen of God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Ignorant Quotes

Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Feet Quotes , Long Quotes

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , New Orleans Quotes

It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Ambition Quotes

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Political Quotes

Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Color Quotes