Mark Twain Quotes, Epitaph Quotes, Ought Quotes

If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Epitaph Quotes , Ought Quotes

Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Travel Quotes

France has usually been governed by prostitutes

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

To forget pain is to be painless; to forget care is to be rid of it; to go abroad is to accomplish both.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Pain Quotes

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Popularity Quotes

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Appreciation Quotes , Writing Quotes

I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Long Quotes

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clever Quotes , Law Quotes

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , Aging Quotes

...the administration of the law can never go lax where every individual sees to it that it grows not lax in his own case, or in cases which fall under his eyes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Eye Quotes

Definite speech means clarity of mind.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Mind Quotes

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Germany Quotes

In the small town of Hannibal, Missouri, when I was a boy, everybody was poor, but didn't know it; and everybody was comfortable and did know it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boys Quotes , Towns Quotes

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Law Quotes

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sad Quotes , Laughter Quotes

I'm in favor of progress; it's change I don't like.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Progress Quotes

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Home Quotes

To us, our house was not unsentient matter -- it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Eye Quotes

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , Truth Quotes

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Military Quotes