Mark Twain Quotes, Pride Quotes, Skulls Quotes

Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Skulls Quotes

He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Political Quotes

S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Men Quotes

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bible Quotes , Girl Quotes

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed; one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Reason Quotes

... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insanity Quotes , Degrees Quotes

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous. . . .

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Real Quotes

A religion that comes of thought, and study, and deliberate conviction, sticks best. The revivalized convert who is scared in the direction of heaven because he sees hell yawn suddenly behind him, not only regains confidence when his scare is over, but is ashamed of himself for being scared, and often becomes more hopelessly and malignantly wicked than he was before.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Faith Quotes , Confidence Quotes

Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Political Quotes

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sobriety Quotes , Morality Quotes

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Cake Quotes

Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Differences Quotes

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

Life is short, break the rules.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Is Too Short Quotes , Life Is Short Quotes

Faith is believing things you know aint true

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes