Mark Twain Quotes, Pain Quotes, Baptists Quotes

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Baptists Quotes

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.

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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Revolution Quotes , Sides Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Writing is the easiest thing in the world.... Just try it sometime. I sit up with a pipe in my mouth and a board on my knees and I scribble away.

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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.

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You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Heart Quotes

Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , Love You Quotes

Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Book Quotes

Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savage´s sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert´s enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Eye Quotes

I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.

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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.

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When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

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