Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, America Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Assessment Quotes

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Zero Quotes , Hard Work Quotes

Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Important Quotes

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lame Quotes , Trials Quotes

Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Style Quotes

No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Men Quotes

Public opinion is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Thinking Quotes

In America-as elsewhere-free speech is confined to the dead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , America Quotes

There is nothing but that frail breastwork of earth between the people and destruction.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Earth Quotes

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Pain Quotes

To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Writing Quotes

I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Trust Quotes , Believe Quotes

Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rocks Quotes , Law Quotes

It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have been better for us-oh infinitely better for us-if the serpent had been forbidden

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Apples Quotes

The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ceramics Quotes , Pieces Quotes

America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , America Quotes

A dream...I was trying to explain to St. Peter, and was doing it in the German tongue, because I didn't want to be too explicit.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Trying Quotes

I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cities Quotes , San Francisco Quotes