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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.
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- Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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- The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.
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- When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
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- To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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- If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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- Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.
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- He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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- ....honest men are few when it comes to themselves.
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- A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.
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- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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- Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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- The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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- It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
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- What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it.
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- A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
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- The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
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- All right, then, I'll go to hell.
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- When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.
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- Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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