Mark Twain Quotes, Ocean Quotes, Cat Quotes

It is easy to make plans in this world; even a cat can do it; and when one is out in those remote oceans it is noticeable that a cat's plans and a man's are worth about the same. There is much the same shrinkage in both, in the matter of values.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ocean Quotes , Cat Quotes

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Mean Quotes

The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Men Quotes

Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bags Quotes , Damn Quotes

The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Southern Quotes

If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Thug Quotes

If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Weather Quotes , Waiting Quotes

Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prejudice Quotes , Investing Quotes

Whatever you have lived, you can write & by hard work & a genuine apprenticeship, you can learn to write well; but what you have not lived you cannot write, you can only pretend to write it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hard Work Quotes , Writing Quotes

It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ideas Quotes , Breaking Rules Quotes

There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Boys Quotes

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Men Quotes

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Past Quotes

Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born -a hundred million years -and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together. There was a peace, a serenity, an absence of all sense of responsibility, an absence of worry, an absence of care, grief, perplexity; and the presence of a deep content and unbroken satisfaction in that hundred million years of holiday which I look back upon with a tender longing and with a grateful desire to resume, when the opportunity comes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Grateful Quotes

Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Reality Quotes

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Men Quotes

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes , Papa Quotes