Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Men Quotes

This editor is a critic. He has pulled out his carving-knife and his tomahawk and is starting after a book which he is going to have for breakfast.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Knives Quotes

Every time I reform in one direction I go overboard in another.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , One Direction Quotes , Reform Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Revenge Quotes

The spirit of wrath - not the words - is the sin; and the spirit of wrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wrath Quotes , Spirit Quotes

Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Eight Quotes

If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , People Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Skulls Quotes

Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Danger Quotes , Dangerous Quotes

But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Boys Quotes

A wanton waste of projectiles.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Waste Quotes

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Optimism Quotes , Sometimes Quotes

... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insanity Quotes , Degrees Quotes

Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Writing Quotes

Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy; aristocracy of the American type.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rhode Island Quotes , Islands Quotes

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes