Mark Twain Quotes, Death Quotes, Suicide Quotes

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Suicide Quotes

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Bullying Quotes

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ideas Quotes , Kaleidoscope Quotes

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Bears Quotes

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , May Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Use Quotes , Truth Is Quotes

Explore. Dream. Discover.

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The future interests me - I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

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Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Political Quotes , Conservative Quotes

...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humor Quotes

If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

That reminds me to remark, in passing, that the very first official thing I did, in my administration-and it was on the first day of it, too-was to start a patent office; for I knew that a country without a patent office and good patent laws was just a crab, and couldn't travel any way but sideways or backways.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Science Quotes

Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Attitude Quotes

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , People Quotes

If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.

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....honest men are few when it comes to themselves.

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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sky Quotes , People Quotes