Mark Twain Quotes, Grief Quotes, Humor Quotes

What is it that strikes a spark of humor from a man? It is the effort to throw off, to fight back the burden of grief that is laid on each one of us. In youth we don't feel it, but as we grow to manhood we find the burden on our shoulders. Humor? It is nature's effort to harmonize conditions. The further the pendulum swings out over woe the further it is bound to swing back over mirth.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grief Quotes , Humor Quotes

Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Learning Quotes

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Numbers Quotes

Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises? That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark: -- I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Two Quotes

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Watches Quotes

Dance like nobody's looking.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Differences Quotes

A good legible label is usually worth, for information, a ton of significant attitude and expression in a historical picture.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Attitude Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boers Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Average Quotes

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sad Quotes , Writing History Quotes

An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Men Quotes

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Baptists Quotes

Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee; but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Men Quotes

There's nobody for me to attack in this matter even with soft and gentle ridicule-and I shouldn't ever think of using a grown up weapon in this kind of a nursery. Above all, I couldn't venture to attack the clergymen whom you mention, for I have their habits and live in the same glass house which they are occupying. I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Reading Quotes

Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of "smartness"--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artificial.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Space Quotes

If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Future Quotes , Want Quotes

Enthusiasm is caught, not taught.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Enthusiasm Quotes

The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Lightning Quotes