Mark Twain Quotes, Taken Quotes, Cake Quotes

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Cake Quotes

But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Traveler Quotes

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Promise Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream... I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter apples, cider, and doughnuts, make old people's tales and old jokes sound fresh and crisp and enchanting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Taken Quotes

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Positive Quotes , Death Quotes

Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Men Quotes

I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Suffering Quotes

The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Knowing Quotes

A gentleman is a man who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Play Quotes

It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorant Quotes , Body Quotes

An honest politician is an oxymoron.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honest Quotes , Politician Quotes

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , People Quotes

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Watches Quotes

The person who has no opinion will seldom be wrong.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opinion Quotes

I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

...one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the chosen of God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Ignorant Quotes