Mark Twain Quotes, Law Quotes, Persons Quotes

Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Persons Quotes

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Passion Quotes , Abstinence Quotes

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Arbitrary Quotes

My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vanity Quotes , Civilization Quotes

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Brotherhood Of Man Quotes

There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Upset Quotes , Oratory Quotes

I wish Europe would let Russia annihilate Turkey a little--not much, but enough to make it difficult to find the place again without a divining-rod or a diving-bell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Russia Quotes , Europe Quotes

That is an editor. He is trying to think of a word. He props his feet on a chair, which is the editor's way; then he can think better. I do not care much for this one; his ears are not alike; still, editor suggests the sound of Edward, and he will do. I could make him better if I had a model, but I made this one from memory. But is no particular matter; they all look alike, anyway. They are conceited and troublesome, and don't pay enough.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Conceited Quotes

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moral Quotes , Cigar Quotes

There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Attitude Quotes , Mind Quotes

Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nice Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy; aristocracy of the American type.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rhode Island Quotes , Islands Quotes

How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Editors Quotes

A German joke is no laughing matter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughing Quotes , Matter Quotes

But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ophelia Quotes

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Government Quotes