3 cheezain zindagi me 1 bar milti hain
1.Waalden
2.Husn.
3.Jawani
3 cheezain soch samajh ker uthao
1.Qadam
2.Qasam
3.Qalam
3 chizain soch ker karo
1.Mohabbat
2.Bat
3.Faisla
3 chizin kisi ka intezar nahin kartien
1.Maut
2.Waqt
3.Umar
3 chizein choti na samjho
1.Qarz
2.Farz
3.Marz
Padho samjho or amal bhi karo.
Bhagwan ne mujhse kaha ki Tu apne Sabhi dosto ko chhod de to "Ferrari" dunga
Maine Bhagwan ko dekha aur kaha ki
He Bhagwan
Ye dost wo h jinhone meri hr khushi hr gam me sath diya
Mere bachpan se lekr aaj tk mere
sath rhe
Kabhi roya to apne hatho se mere ansu pochhe
Ek glass pani b piya to b mere sath share kiya
Meri ek awaz pr dode chle aaye
or aap kehte ho ki me 1 FERRARI ke liye inhe chhod du
KHAIR, Koi baat nahi
Lekin FERRARI Red color ki hi dena
Fees maafi ke liye Application:
To
The Principal
High school
Sir,
Baat ye hui k mere Dad ne mujhe fees k liye 2000 rupe Diye the, 500 ki dosto k sath film dekh li, 500 ki drink ho gayi,
500 ka girlfrind ka recharge karwana pad gaya fir usko 250 ki coffee pilai, aur bache 250 english wali mam pe shart har gaya…
Mein samjhta tha ki unka sirf maths ke sir ke saath chakkar hai par unka to aapse bhi chakar nikla,
ab aapke paas 2 hi raste haia…
Ya to meri fees maaf ya aapka pardafaash..
Asha karta hun meri fees maaf ho jayegi…
Aapka pyara
Vidyarthi..
Phoolwala:"Sahab apni gf ke liye
phool
le lo..
.
Boy:"Meri gf nahi hai..
.
Phoolwala:"To mangetar ke liye le
lo.. .
Boy:"Meri mangetar nahi hai..
.
Phoolwala:"To biwi ke liye hi le lo..
.
Boy:" Meri biwi bhi nahi hai.. .
.
.
.
.
. Phoolwala:"Aye duniya ke khush
kismat insaan meri taraf se yephool
free me le le.
Pappu aur uske dost Ne do
Ghode khareede.
.
.
Baat Ye hui ki kaunsa Ghoda Kis
ka hai ?
.
Pappu : Main Apne Ghode ki
Dum kat deta hon! Ye
Nishani Hogi.
.
Subha dekha to Doosre Ghode ki
Dum bhi kisi Ne Kaat Di.
.
Pappu : aaj Main apne Ghode Ka
Kaan Kaat deta hun..
.
Agli subha doosre Ghode ka bhi
Kaan Kata hua tha. Dono bade pareshan ki
Ab Kya
Kiya Jaaye !
.
.
Bahut Soch vichar ke baad
Pappu bola:
.
.
.
.
.
Chal chhor yar Safed ghoda tera
Kala ghoda Mera.
DAD: Jyotishi ji mujhe kaise pata chal
sakta hai ki mera beta future mein kya
banega?
JYOTISHI: aap uske table pe Cigarette,
Beer,Paiso ki Gaddi aur Books rakh do.
Unme se jo wo uthaega wahi banega.
DAD: ok Agle din Beta Aaya. Table dekhi.
Paiso ki Gaddi uthake jeb mein rakhi,
Cigarette pi, Beer chhupa li, Aur Books hath
mein leke ghar se chala gaya.
DAD: Us nalayak ne to sab kuchh leliya!
JYOTISHI: Sir Mubarak Ho!!
Aapka beta ENGINEER banega! :)
Ek Kishan 1 Murga Leke Aaya.
Us Murge Ne Aate Hi 150 Murgiyo Ko Ch*d Diya.
Ye Dekh Kar Kishan Bahut Khush Hua.
Sham Tak Us Murge Ne Sari Batakho (Duck)
Or Baki Janwaro Ko B Ch*d Diya,
Ye Dekhkar Kishan Kuch Pareshan Hua.
Agle Din Jab Subah Hui To Murga Khet Me Mara Pda Tha
Or Upar Giddh Mandra Rhe The.
Use Dekhkar Kishan Bola,
"Mar Gaya Bh*sdi K,
Harkate B To Teri Aisi Thi"
Tabhi Murge Ne Ek Aankh Kholi Or Bola
"Chup Madarch*d Inme Se Ek Ko Niche To Aane De.
CUTE story..
KG boy - tu mujhse shadi
kalegi??
KG girl- nhi..
KG boy - kalle na..
KG girl - me ni talungi..
KG boy - kalle na plssss..
KG girl - mujhe ni kalni..
KG boy - tal na tujhe
eclairs khilaunga..
KG girl - Yehi to problem h tisi aul se dairymilk ki bat
ho dayi hai..
#moral- girls bachpan se smart hoti hai...
Subah Subah Usne
Subah Subah usne bade hi pyar se
mere Ghar ke Darwaje ki Ghanti bajai,
Maine ek dum se li Angrai aur,
Jab darwaja khola toa vo
Bade hi pyar se muskurai ,
Saath hi saath vo thora sa sarmai,
Aur thora ghabrai,
Maine toa socha ke aaj toa Aapni,
Nikal pari mere Bhai,
Agale hi Pal vo mere paas aai ,
Aur mere kaan main bade hi jor se chillai,
Main hi hu ji aapki nai naveli kaam wali bai..
Boys k t0p 10 jhoot!!
1. Mujhe tmhari bohat fikar hai
(jhoota:)
2.Tum meri life ki pEhli aur akhiri
pasand ho..
(Astagfirullah :)
3. Cell silent pe tha jaAn
( Larke ka m0bile silent? :)
4. Ami ki call ha jani
(Had hogai:-)
5. Hamari shadi zarur hogi.
(jho0t m0ot wali :)
6. Mushkil waqt mei mujhe sath pa0gi..
(bhagne walon k :)
7. Pyar mei sub jaiz hai meri jaan..
(Chahe izat ki Abc h0jaye :)
8. Tmhare parents mere parents hain..
(sirf shadi se pehle tak :)
9. Tmhare siwa kisi se bAt nai krta..
(taubA kro :)
10. Tm na mili to kanwara betha
rahunga..! :-D
(pure ek haftey tak :)
Ek Aalu ne bhindi ko " I Love U"
ka messge kia....
Bhindi ne usy buhat bura bhala kaha aur boli
Tum itny moty ho
or me itni Smart
Aalu ko ya sun ka buhatdukh hua....
Aalu ne us din ka baad itni sabziyan Phansai..
k
k
k
Aj aap dekh saktay hen
k
Aalu-Ghobi,
Aalu- Bengan,
Aalu-Palak,
Aalu-Matar,
Aalu-Gajer,
Aalu-Methi,
or
Bichari Bhindi us din se aaj tak akeli hy KHUMANSINH
Doctor Pagal Se:
Tum Pagal Q Huey?
Pagal: Maine 1 Vidhva Se Shadi Ki,
Uski Jawan Beti Se Mere Baap Ne Shadi Ki
Yu Meri Wo Beti Meri Maa Ban Gai
Un K Ghar Beti Hui To Wo Meri Behn Hui
Magar Main Uski Naani Ka Pati Tha
Is Liye Wo Meri Nathn Hui.
Isi Tarha Mera Beta Apni Daadi
Ka Bhai Ban Gaya Or Main Apne Bete Ka Bhanja Aur
Mera Baap Mera Damaad Ban Gaya
Aur Mera Beta Apne Dada Ka Sala Ban Gaya Aur
Dr: Abey Chup Kar Saale
Kya Mujhe B Pagal Krega..?
Choti si Pogo Story :-D
.
Ek Baar Ek Ladka Hindi Ki Story Pad Raha Tha,
To Uske Man Mein Padte Hue Do Shabad Aaye,
Aur Usne Apne Papa Se Puchha
“Papa, Vishwas Aur Hakikat Mein Kya Fark Hai?”
Papa: “Beta, Teri Maan Meri Biwi Hai Ye Hakikat Hai, Lekin Tu Mera Beta Hai Wo Ek Vishwas Hai“
:-D :-D
thoko Like Samajh Aya to.
मुट्ठी भर चने खाकर बाप एक लोटा पानी पी लेता है,
अपने बच्चे के महकते टिफिन को सूंघकर वह जी लेता है|
धूप में रिक्शा खींचकर कमाये चंद रुपयों से वह,
आईएएस की तैयारी करते बेटे के लिए घी लेता है|
बच्चों को न तरसने दिया जिसने कपड़ों के लिए,
फटे हुए पाजामे को चुपके से वह बाप सी लेता है|
जो भी बना है घर में सब औलादों को परोसकर,
अपने लिए वह भूखा बाप छोटी सी तस्तरी लेता है|
उसकी जेब से बरसते हैं चॉकलेट और बिस्कीट,
बच्चों की मासूम हंसी में
हीं वह अपनी खुशी समझता हं़