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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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- Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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- Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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- A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.
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- POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.
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- BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.
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- KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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- We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.
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- When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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- Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.
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- OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
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- A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
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- Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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- REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
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- CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
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- ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
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