Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Writing Quotes

Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

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GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

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SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.

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actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.

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Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.

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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

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Noise: a stench in the ear.

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ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

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aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Desire Quotes