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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Guilt Quotes , Justification Quotes
- The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.
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- A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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- FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London
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- NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
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- WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
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- Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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- DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.
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- Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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- Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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- MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
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- An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
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- COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.
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- PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
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- POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
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- MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
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