Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Race Quotes, Wife Quotes

PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.

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TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

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COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.

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UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

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BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

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A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

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DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

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RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

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RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.

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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.

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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

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MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.

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AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

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