Ambrose Bierce Quotes, War Quotes, Self Esteem Quotes

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Musical Quotes , Assassins Quotes

RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Character Quotes , Dignity Quotes

Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lambs Quotes , Morality Quotes

NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Fall Quotes

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

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Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Country Quotes

A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Mean Quotes

ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Teeth Quotes

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Students Quotes

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspiring Quotes , Success Quotes

We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Cheating Quotes , Art Quotes

MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Women Quotes

BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

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Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Learning Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Writing Quotes , Character Quotes

Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Mind Quotes

HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Heart Quotes , Cat Quotes