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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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- Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
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- A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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- NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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- DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
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- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
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- JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.
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- LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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- The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.
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- Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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- Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
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- Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
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- RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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- REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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- A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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- alone, adj. In bad company.
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