Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wall Quotes, Army Quotes

Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

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ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.

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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.

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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

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CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."

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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

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