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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
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- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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- Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.
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- ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
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- ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.
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- Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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- RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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- MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
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- Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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- PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
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- Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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- Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
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- RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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- Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
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- An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
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- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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- predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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- Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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