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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".
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- LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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- Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
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- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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- HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.
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- INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
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- Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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- A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.
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- Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.
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- MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
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- CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."
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- Noise: a stench in the ear.
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- REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
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- Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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- In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.
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- GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.
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- MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
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- ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.
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- INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.
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- The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
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