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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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- IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
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- A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
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- PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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- REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
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- Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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- Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
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- X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.
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- KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- hybrid, n. A pooled issue.
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- Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
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- A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the "buffone", or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.
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- When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
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- When in Rome, do as Rome does.
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- WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.
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- The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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- The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
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