Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Hands Quotes

A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.

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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , People Quotes

INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Fall Quotes

Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Strong Quotes

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ties Quotes , Debtors Quotes

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Simple Quotes

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

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DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

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The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

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Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

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Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

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A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Writing Quotes