Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You have delighted us long enough.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Witty Quotes

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Religious Quotes

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Grace Quotes

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Passion Quotes

I love smiles. That is a fact. How to develop smiles? There are a variety of smiles. Some smiles are sarcastic. Some smiles are artificial-diplomatic smiles. These smiles do not produce satisfaction, but rather fear or suspicion. But a genuine smile gives us hope, freshness. If we want a genuine smile, then first we must produce the basis for a smile to come.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Giving Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Appreciate Quotes

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We have the best government that money can buy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Book Quotes

I can be much more sarcastic and, I think, sometimes withering in my assessments of things than I allow to show in my public life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Their demeanor is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humor, vivacity, or the capacity for enjoyment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Thinking Quotes

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Country Quotes