Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wisdom Quotes

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

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MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

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An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

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Example is better than following it.

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You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

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Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.

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OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."

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FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

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REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.

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LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

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SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.

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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

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Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

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