Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Pits Quotes, Records Quotes

ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pits Quotes , Records Quotes

MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mind Quotes , Molecules Quotes

TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dumb Quotes , Truthful Quotes

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rain Quotes , Fall Quotes

ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes

PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Vanishing Quotes

When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Feet Quotes

TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Men Quotes

PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Mind Quotes

A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Revenge Quotes , Cat Quotes

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Color Quotes

Twice – Once too often.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Logic Quotes

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Evil Quotes , Enemy Quotes

GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Illustration Quotes

An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Deception Quotes , Auctions Quotes

POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Police Quotes , Protection Quotes

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Waste Quotes

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes

RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Digging Quotes , Purpose Quotes