Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Change Quotes, Happiness Quotes

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.

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MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,' said Brillat-Savarin, beginning an anecdote. 'What!' interrupted Rochebriant; 'eating dinner in a drawing-room?' 'I must beg you to observe, monsieur,' explained the great gastronome, 'that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before.'

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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

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INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.

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Twice – Once too often.

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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

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SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

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The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

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LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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