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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
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- APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.
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- SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.
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- Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
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- BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
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- CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
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- Least said is soon disavowed.
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- ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
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- PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil's objections. A needless precaution - they knew no more of the matter than he.
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- Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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- Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
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- OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.
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- Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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- Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
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- Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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- EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
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- FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
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- Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
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