Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wisdom Quotes, Latin Quotes

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Latin Quotes

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Animal Quotes

A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create something that would justify them. The world is all created,said God, but you have overlooked something

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Relief Quotes

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Color Quotes

You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Political Quotes , Liberty Quotes

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Giving Quotes

I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Parent Quotes , Honest Quotes

NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Music Quotes , Civilization Quotes

RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Two Quotes

Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Speech Quotes , Way Quotes

EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Nuts Quotes

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dying Quotes , Finals Quotes

LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Loss Quotes , Losing Quotes

The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

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alone, adj. In bad company.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Solitude Quotes , Bad Company Quotes

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Imperfection Quotes

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Definitions Quotes

Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pride Quotes , Sound Quotes