Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Chinese Quotes, Religion Quotes

JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

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OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.

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ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.

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Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.

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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

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INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.

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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

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Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

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