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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
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- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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- Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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- URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.
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- It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
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- POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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- BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.
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- UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
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- PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
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- A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
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- Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager
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- Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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- PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.
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- Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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- INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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- FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.
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- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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- Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.
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- Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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