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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.
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- Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
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- LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.
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- Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
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- Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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- The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
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- ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."
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- Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure
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- Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.
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- A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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- Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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- REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
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- WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
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- Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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- When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
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- A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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- INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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- Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
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