Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eating Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Business Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything that I can see with my naked eye.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eye Quotes

The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: They hope it's my last.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Forman Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Running Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , War Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes