Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Funny Quotes, Children Quotes

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.

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The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.

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I always say beauty is only sin deep.

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People talk vaguely about the innocence of a little child, but they take mighty good care not to let it out of their sight for twenty minutes.

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The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

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Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.

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Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

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Never be a pioneer. It's the early Christian that gets the fattest lion.

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His socks compelled one's attention without losing one's respect.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

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People may say what they like about the decay of Christianity the religious system that produced green Chartreuse can never really die.

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There was something alike terrifying and piteous in the spectacle of these frail old morsels of humanity consecrating their last flickering energies to the task of making each other wretched. Hatred seemed to be the one faculty which had survived in undiminished vigor where all else was dropping into ordered and symmetrical decay.

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No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve.

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A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it.

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The cat of the slums and alleys, starved, outcast, harried, still keeps amid the prowlings of its adversity the bold, free, panther-tread with which it paced of yore the temple courts of Thebes, still displays the self-reliant watchfulness which man has never taught it to lay aside.

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And the vagueness of his alarm added to its terrors; when once you have taken the Impossible into your calculations its possibilities become practically limitless.

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It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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It is an admitted fact that the ordinary tomtit of commerce has a sounder aesthetic taste than the average female relative in the country.

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