Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Wine Quotes, Max Quotes

By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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I hate babies. They're so human.

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People talk vaguely about the innocence of a little child, but they take mighty good care not to let it out of their sight for twenty minutes.

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The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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Great Socialist statesmen aren't made, they're still-born.

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I think she must have been very strictly brought up, she's so desperately anxious to do the wrong thing correctly.

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Life is full of its disappointments, and I suppose the art of being happy is to disguise them as illusions.

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Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.

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If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits.

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The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

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A beautifully constructed borshch, such as you are going to experience presently, ought not only to banish conversation but almost to annihilate thought.

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There are certain fixed rules that one observes for one's own comfort. For instance, never be flippantly rude to any inoffensive grey-bearded stranger that you may meet in pine forests or hotel smoking-rooms on the Continent. It always turns out to be the King of Sweden.

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When people grow gradually rich their requirements and standard of living expand in proportion, while their present-giving instincts often remain in the undeveloped condition of their earlier days. Something showy and not-too-expensive in a shop is their only conception of the ideal gift.

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The revenge of an elder sister may be long in coming, but, like a South-Eastern express, it arrives in its own good time.

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In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

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Once a female, always a female. Nature is not always infallible but she always abides by her mistakes.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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Mother, may I go and maffick, Tear around and hinder traffic?

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