George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Stupid Quotes

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

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The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

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We want a few mad people now. See where the sane ones have landed us!

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It is clear that a novel cannot be too bad to be worth publishing. . . . It certainly is possible for a novel to be too good to be worth publishing.

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You propound a complicated arithmetical problem: say cubing a number containing four digits. Give me a slate and half an hour's time, and I can produce a wrong answer.

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My opportunities were still there, nay, they multiplied tenfold; but the strength and youth to cope with them began to fail, and to need eking out with the shifty cunning of experience.

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Rich men without convictions are more dangerous in modern society than poor women without chastity.

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It is most unwise for people in love to marry.

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Imagination is the beginning of creation.

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A married man is a man with a past, while a bachelor is a man with a future.

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The philosopher is Nature's pilot. And there you have our difference: to be in hell is to drift: to be in heaven is to steer.

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The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

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The truth is, hardly any of us have ethical energy enough for more than one really inflexible point of honor.

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The criminal law is no use to decent people.

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When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

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As to spelling the very frequent word though with six letters instead of two, it is impossible to discuss it, as it is outside the range of common sanity. In comparison such a monstrosity as phlegm for flem is merely disgusting.

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[...] any fool can make a discovery. Every baby has to discover more in the first years of its life than Roger Bacon ever discovered in his laboratory.

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A family is a tyranny ruled over by it's weakest member.

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My religious convictions and scientific views cannot at present be more specifically defined than as those of a believer in creative revolution. I desire that no public monument or work of art or inscription or sermon or ritual service commemorating me shall suggest that I accepted the tenets peculiar to any established church or denomination nor take the form of a cross or any other instrument of torture or symbol of blood sacrifice.

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