Adam Carolla Quotes, Bridges Quotes, Done Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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I'm a comedian, not a politician.

6 years ago

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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

6 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

6 years ago

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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

6 years ago

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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

6 years ago

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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

6 years ago

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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

6 years ago

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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes